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Remembering childhood

October 7th, 2007 at 04:33 am

I’ve been thinking a lot the past couple weeks (since I realized how quickly I can pull myself out of consumer debt) how I got here in the first place (and how much interest I will have paid at the end).

I am not sure how much I have shared about how it was when I was growing up but my mom was a single parent raising four kids on $600 a month child support in California from 1975. We are all grown and on our own now but when I was growing up it was really rough. We never had any money to do anything except maybe a matinee movie. I remember walking to the Newsstand and picking up a candy for ten cents to take into the movie because we could not afford to purchase an candy at the theater across the street.

My mom went back to work (at minimum wage $3.35 per hour) when I was nine. It is amazing to me that I thought we were getting rich with an extra $350 or so a month (after taxes). All of a sudden we could afford clothes from Mervyns and Kmart.

I think I got myself in to so much debt because growing up there was nothing new. I had hand me downs until I was 16. When you have three sisters everything is kept and passed along to someone else. I actually remember getting my first new coat when I was 12 that was not a hand me down. I kept that coat until I was 24 (through college!) and even then I did not want to part with it. I remember my second new coat I received at Christmas when I was 18. I just pulled it out of the winter boxes today and washed it. Monday I’ll take it and have it sprayed for weather proofing for the winter.

Every year at Christmas my mom would sit us down and say something like Santa has had a hard year and has many kids around the world to take care of so it might be a small Christmas and every year it was an amazing holiday. Mom worked at a church and everyone knew she had four kids and it seemed we were always getting a food basket with goodies or presents or something. And there were the years when we needed a new roof that money came in the mail. Cash, no note or anything but it helped tremendously to fix the leaking roof that was slowly devouring the wall between the dining room and the garage.

I remember Bob and his wife Mary, a retired couple from church, who loved me like a granddaughter. They would watch me crawl around the church at daily mass when I was a year old. When I was older Bob would slip money into my hand and tell me to do something nice for my mom. It was usually a 10 or maybe a twenty but occassionally it was a fifty or hundred dollar bill. Thinking back those usually came toward the end of the month. Growing up that little amount of money passed along to my mom (never kept) would mean that we had something other than hot dogs and macaroni toward the end of the month or my mom had gas for the car. Sometime after I turned 18 when I would return from college, the money became a “put this toward a school expense” gift. I would be ashamed to show them how I am living now, being so much in debt after all they did for us.

I have always dreamed about having a "slush fund" for sending some money to people who really need it. Like when I read an article in the news paper about a local family burnt out of their home, etc. I know American Red Cross will help for 3 days maybe 4 but how nice would it be to pay for something they need: groceries, a motel room, clothes and toys for the kids.

Question for the readers: What are the financial memories you carry with you from childhood and how do they affect you now?

7 Responses to “Remembering childhood”

  1. contrary1 Says:
    1191728691

    Loved your entry! My memories of childhood are those of abundance. It wasn't really, but to me it seemed so. My parents saved, did without and still provided us with what seemed a perfect life.
    Then, when I was in 7th grade, after moving to the new house they had built, with money they had saved......so no mortgage......there was a strike where my dad worked.
    I was old enough to realize that meant no paycheck and not old enough to understand my parents had enough money put away to deal with the unexpected.
    There wasn't anything I could do to help.......but in my mind, things I didn't do, or didn't use would make a difference in that they didn't have to spend as much.
    I'm sure the strike didn't last 2 weeks, but it seemed forever to me........My parents weren't the type to discuss finances with us, so it was never really clear how the no paycheck bit was going to affect us. (didn't really)
    Thanks for the push to dig back in my memory bank! Funny what sticks with us as we get older.

  2. debtfreeme Says:
    1191729588

    Contrary-- I guess I should add that I had a marvelous childhood! We are a close and loving family and when it was needed there always seemed to be enough.

    I have wonderful memories or my childhood and my family and I hope people don't think I was complaining or anything as i just wanted to share a little and start a discussion. I truly had an idyllic childhood in a small town in the foot hills. Great community and people.

  3. Ima saver Says:
    1191764476

    My father died when I was 9 and after that, we were so poor. My mother had never worked in her life. (back then women stayed home with the kids. She was born in 1907)
    Finally, she got a job making about $25 a week for working 6 days.
    She paid the bills, but there was no money for anything extra , like clothing. We ate a lot of frozen fish sticks and there was never any junk food or soda.
    I got a job at age 12 so that helped a lot. I was able to pay for my own school supplies.
    I found out later that we were eligible for welfare but my mother was too proud to ever take it.

  4. boomeyers Says:
    1191815354

    My parents gave us a wonderful childhood too. Yes, hand me downs and ALDI's but lots of tradition and fun. My parents always had money for what my dad wanted and it got even more abundant as I grew up and his jobs paid better, so in the end I was spoiled. No they never talked about money, but they never TAUGHT about money (only by example), so yes, money DOES grow on trees and when I wanted something they provided it and by the time they figured out I was getting spoiled rotten, the cord was cut and they threw me out (not really, I got a job and moved out). I have never gotten good control of money. That is why we are so in debt!!

  5. Caoineag Says:
    1191857366

    My family had its ups and downs ranging from middle class to working poor. My mother knew how to stretch a dollar and I helped her shop (her pay was to cover groceries and wants) so I learned some good money skills from her but I also remember that dad always seemed to have money issues and couldn't be trusted to go grocery shopping because he would just buy what he wanted, not what was on sale. My dad and I never really discussed money except that he would complain about money being tight all the time even though his paycheck was just for bills and his own mad money.

    I have actually been pretty good with money most of my life. It was only after moving across country that the money started to rack up. The first year was extremely expensive on low pay but then we both got good paying jobs and lost our heads. Now we are going back to being sensible again and maybe even a bit more frugal than when we started out. After all, you have to have money before you can decide what to do with it.

  6. fern Says:
    1191858026

    My parents divorced at 6 and my mom raised the 2 of us girls. She worked as a secretary and we didn't have a lot of $$ either. I remember Saturday a.m. family talks about the grocery bill and i think there were a few times we got that govt-sponsored cheese and butter.

    My grandparents helped us out whenever they could. When my grandfather won the lottery pretty big (I think about $50k), he split it in thirds and gave is to the 3 of us. Thanks to them, i've always been very good with money.

    I loved my neighborhood friends and never felt deprived that i can remember.

  7. ceejay74 Says:
    1191945340

    I was the 5th child and I came 10 years after the 4th, so my parents (very frugal) were much better off by the time I came along. Still, I never got a ton of new clothes or expensive toys and our house was mainly furnished with thrift-store stuff. When I started hanging out at other people's houses I felt ours was very shabby, but I now realize that my family was probably doing MUCH better financially because we weren't pissing it away on new furniture every 5 years! :-) And my dad would occasionally do something thrilling like pay for me to go to California for a week, throwing in a brand-new camcorder and spending money to boot! All paid for cash on the barrel, of course.

    My partner AS had the opposite experience--she learned from a young age to recognize the tone of a collector on the phone and to lie about her parents being home, but her house always looked great and her parents always had new cars. When we bought a home a few years back, we did a full credit check and found that her mom had taken out a car loan using her SSN when she was 14. Luckily easy enough to wipe off her record, but you get the picture.

    Between us, we've taken half our behaviors from my parents and half from hers--we wouldn't dream of paying a bill late or defaulting a debt, but we managed to accumulate quite a bit of debt with spending splurges and poor money management. Now we're on track though, and I hope someday we can give our future kids the feeling of security I got from my parents, not the quicksand feeling of AS's childhood.

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